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How to Hypnotise a Chicken
You too can become a Chicken Hypnotist if you know what you are doing! Mesmerisation of domestic poultry, a practical guide.


Hypnosis of chickens can easily be safely accomplished if you are careful and know how to do this. In the same sort of way in which a parrot can be made to be quiet by being put in the dark, the special features of animal psychology of birds allow this remarkable technique of chicken hypnosis to be possible. Although you don't need a fob watch on a chain to swing, to and fro, to and fro, to and fro, nor do you need to have some special kind of gleaming eyes to look deeply into, you should have a sympathy with the subject. Be kind to chickens! This is supposed to be fun, and the chicken should not be upset and should suffer no more than slight embarrassment when you perform this remarkable trick and hypnotise the chicken.

1. First catch your chicken. This should be done neatly without fuss. Avoid unseemly behaviour such as chasing wild chickens around. Having a tame chicken is best. If you're not the owner, get the owner to catch the chicken for you.

2. Holding the chicken the right way up, with the head uppermost, gently but firmly grasp the legs of the chicken underneath. It's important to have a good grip on both of the legs but to avoid squeezing too much. The claws should be arranged to avoid damage to you or to the chicken.

3. With deft sleight-of-hand, the chicken is swung speedily and carefully round into the upside-down position, leaving you holding the chicken by the legs! This will surprise the chicken, but it should not be upset by it. Note that although it is no longer regarded as acceptable by magicians to lift a rabbit by the ears, rabbit ears are not designed by nature to hold the weight of the rabbit. In contrast, the legs of a chicken are easily strong enough to hold the weight of a chicken.

4. Hold on to your chicken. If it flaps its wings, the wing tips should not come into contact with anything. You have to be careful, for the safe wellbeing of the chicken and also to save your eyes from feather-damage. Be prepared for the chicken to flap about a bit. This is quite usual. Don't drop it!

5. Within a few seconds the chicken calms down and becomes accustomed to being upside-down. This usually happens quite quickly.

6. Being upside-down is interpreted by the brain of the chicken as being a condition in which it is appropriate to go into a state of sleep. Within half a minute or so, you have a sleeping chicken in your hands. Or at least, you have hold of the legs of a chicken which is mysteriously hanging there upside-down, asleep.

7. You can now stroke the chicken on the head, and under the chin, and put straight any feathers which might have been ruffled up. You can easily tidy-up, caress, and stroke a tranced chicken, as you are able to hold both its feet in one hand, and by now the feathered body is quite limp and placid.

8. It's now possible to lower the chicken carefully and lay it down on a flat surface. With practice and skill it's possible to drape a sleeping chicken across the top of a television or other conveniently placed garden object.

9. You can in effect leave the chicken on its back with its feet up in the air. This is an extraordinary sight and it beggars belief that a live chicken will remain in such a condition. However, I recommend that you don't just walk away and leave it. Two minutes is plenty, and will adequately prove the point that you can definitely hypnotise a chicken.

10. At some point, the chicken is roused and will resume its usual right-way-up state, with the feet on the ground, and will walk around almost as if nothing has happened. If anyone says "it still looks a bit dazed" then you're probably showing off your chicken hypnosis technique too much. Go easy on those chickens!

Notes:

* The technique works about the same on both types of chickens; the type that lay eggs, and the type that make a lot of noise at four o'clock in the morning.

* The technique does not work the same on humans, but if you want to prove this, it's best to ask someone before trying this.

* It has been suggested that birds left upside-down in a state of sleep or hypnosis will somehow wake up simultaneously even though there is no apparent communication or incoming reset pulse. This may be a clue into a way of researching into some invisible unknown force which may be interesting.

* The condition being described as "hypnosis of a chicken" may not be exactly the same as hypnosis of humans. The physiology is quite different. Hypnotised humans become suggestable, and the conscious will is temporarily abdicated to the hypnotist. In contrast, in chicken-hypnosis, the phenomenon is physiological. Nevertheless, it is an induced state of somatism resulting in a change of state of mind, so it seems fair to term it "chicken hypnosis".

* Also, although people can be hypnotised and will give up smoking, I know of no chickens that smoke cigarettes, so it's not reasonable to guess if chickens could be made to give up smoking by hypnosis. If you want to give up smoking, lose weight, or alter your behaviour by hypnosis, you will be interested in seeing Hypnotic Tracks.

* Stage hypnotists have been known to convince hypnotised people that they are chickens, for the amusement of the audience. You may not have much luck suggesting to a hypnotised chicken that it's a human, but it may be entertaining if you are performing chicken hypnosis Chickenin front of an audience, to suggest to the chicken that it is in fact a chicken and will mysteriously behave in a chickenlike way on waking up. No chickens have been harmed as a result of being post-hypnotically suggested that they are chickens.

* It's important to be fair to animals. Although I eat chickens, I have never eaten a chicken which I have hypnotised.


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Also see other pages here about chickens